Dear Diary: Nothing-could stop-me-until-I-get-it Attitude.

Everyone expect me to be OK, but I’m OK. For the ones who expect me to be okay, my reality is I’m not. The truth is, I’m confused; I can’t think clearly. My mind is spinning a million mph, and I want it to stop.

I tried to make it stop, but it’s not happening. I question everything. I question myself as a person, I question myself as a mother. I question myself as a friend, I question myself as a wife. I question my existence.

I asked “Why?” for everything. Everything is questionable in my eyes, my heart, and mind. My heart has deceived me so many times because of my vulnerability. And I thought that I overcame that weakness in my life, in the past. But it seems that that is not the present. I’m still vulnerable!

I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to think. Sadly, when I reflect on my life in the past, I was much stronger: I was more confident, I was an achiever, an overachiever. I was a go-getter, I was reliable; I was the kind of person with that nothing-could stop-me-until-I-get-it Attitude.

These past 3 years, I slowly lost myself and who I am and who I became as a whole. I decided to get myself back. A woman always has a plan I’m working on me. That’s the plan. Once you know who you are and you have that confidence in yourself, everything else becomes your masterpiece.

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